My Coffee Shop Fight

Picture this:

You’re sitting in a coffee shop with your wife and daughter.

Behind you, you hear a woman who works there walk over to a table and tell a man that he needs to leave. They don’t allow customers to have, or drink, from open contains of liquor.

His reply is loud, direct, and insulting, “F#$k you, you bitch ass N****r.”

You turn around this is happening between a white woman, around 60 and a white man, early 30s.

She repeats that now he really has to leave, and he stands up to get in her face and keeps yelling.

What do you do?

This was the situation I found myself in recently while just trying to enjoy a nice afternoon with two of the ladies I love.

So, I got up, stood in between them and started into the typical, “Listen man, she’s just doing her job. It’s not her call that these are the rules - but you’ve got to go.”

I can’t even count the number of times I said a version of this when I was a bouncer but it still comes out deadpan and automatic.

The “man” looked at me, and to be honest I wasn’t really listening to what he said, but he was pissed off and squared up to me.

I didn’t move, or react physically, and just repeated another version of the same line but in my head I was wondering what the odds were that this turned physical.

I gave it about 30%, and truthfully was mortified that I might have to put my hands on this guy in front of the girls, but that’s the only thing I was worried about. The idea of a fight was fine, the part that bothered me was them seeing me hurt someone.

I don’t talk about this a lot but I’ve had my share of fights. Organized fights, street fights, confrontations bouncing…

I’m also certified to instruct Gracie Tactics (from the Gracie BJJ family) for police and military and have my qualifications as a Krav Maga instructor as well.

Standing there my ideas were pretty simple:

If he put his hands on me, I’m going to choke him unconscious.

If he started reaching in his bag, or a pocket, I’m going to kick him in the chest.

Either way, I had complete confidence that if he chose to make the situation worse I would handle it, and that would be that.

And that’s the big thing I want to share with you.

As a man, I believe you have to be prepared to do what it takes to protect your family - and if you find yourself in a situation like this, the people around you who can’t protect themselves.

The key word is prepared.

Any good man is willing, but not many are prepared.

Does that mean you need to get into some street fights, sign up for boxing or become a Krav Maga instructor?

Absolutely not.

The single most important aspect of self defense is being strong and fit.

The second is being aggressive.

The third is dealing with violence mentally (both giving and taking) so you don’t freeze up.

The fourth and final is the actual technical knowledge of what to do.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to do anything. (Which is a benefit of being in shape because it’s a very strong cue that you’re not a good choice)

Regardless, I was ready if I needed to be.

Are you?

Can your family count on you?

If you were in this spot, are you sitting at the table telling them to keep their eyes down so the guy doesn’t come over? Or are you ready to help because you’ve put in the work to be able to handle yourself?

You can be the person that comes over to say they were glad someone like me was there, and there were 5 or 6 of those…

Or you can be the person that gives other people that confidence when they’re in a situation that scares them.

The choice is yours, but if you want to take the second option, you have to decide BEFORE the time comes and you have to put the work in to earn it.

In my opinion though, that’s the only choice a real man has.